Feeble co-lab of the month: in a three way team up, ASICS has partnered with Spanish family wine producers Las Tress Z.Z.Z. Pamlona and Barcelona retailer kings of bling 24 Kilates.  These dire kicks come with a bottle of suspect vino plonko, a wineskin bag and two pairs of shoelaces, all rammed into a clichéd wine case.  They’re being released to the world on July 10th to coincide with the San Fermin festival, mostly noted for all the dim-witted señors who get brutally, deservedly gored during the running of the bulls.  Surely someone’s taking the piss? 

Australia has been working hard to shake its global image that it’s a racist, drunken, uneducated nation; the convict derived British outpost that time forgot. I’ve no doubt that hundreds of reputation management professionals sit in Embassies all round the world pumping out positive propaganda every day. And then it did this. All those guardians of the nation’s image must be choking on their ice cold Toohey’s New today. The most mind boggling thing? A lot of true blue Aussies don’t understand what all the fuss is about. If you’re one of them, I draw your attention to the Wikipedia definition of Blackface. I’m the first to admit my humour pushes the boundaries of good taste but this is a WTF moment of truly epic proportions; a marmalade dropper of the worst possible kind.

Unlike 99.9% of media commentators both domestic and international, I refuse to believe this was an accident.  Media Monkey especially, I expect more from you.

Personally, I’d like to think there’s a spirited little man, somewhere in the gritty intestines of Richard Desmond’s publishing empire (I’ll wager floor 15, last door on the right past Asian Babes), whose job it is to worry about the flagging circulation figures of the Daily Express.  I’d like to think that whilst leafing through the 5pm proof, he spotted a cheeky opportunity to drive mass coverage in every competing media channel out there… and having got the green light from the reformed porn king, had a quiet word in a sub’s shell-like…  I’ll bet he got a chubby fingered handshake, a fat bonus and a year’s free subscription to Television X from old Dezza.  And rightly so.

Friends will know first hand my ongoing despair over my dear parents and their need to not only read the Daily Mail, but often believe every word. I’m therefore amazed that the outrage surrounding the Haribo sweets who appear to be partaking in ‘pornographic acts’ hasn’t been relayed in their weekly email updating me on life in England’s white, middle class home counties. They must be too busy looking for someone who speaks English in Marks and Spencers. So, we’ll need to rely on News.com:

“A POPULAR confectionery is causing an uproar in Europe after a flood of complaints about its packaging. Claims have been made that the fruit figures that appear on Haribo MAOAM sour candies are engaging in sex acts. A father-of-two told The Daily Mail of his disgust after spotting the fruity cartoon characters. Simon Simpkins was buying Haribo MAOAM sour candies for his children when he noticed the “pornographic” illustrations of limes, lemons and cherries romping with each other. Mr Simpkins of West Yorkshire said: “The lemon and lime are locked in what appears to be a carnal encounter.”

Australia’s biggest nob jockey.

For those who haven’t been watching this particular PR disaster unfold over the last week, listen to what the highest rating FM breakfast show deemed family friendly entertainment last week…

Unbelievable, not to mention unacceptable. I dropped more than my toast and marmalade when I heard this. I dropped the C bomb. It defies belief that an entire team of well paid and one would have assumed intelligent producers, exec producers, researchers and presenters felt it was appropriate to exploit a 14 year old by attaching her to a lie detector and challenging her about her sexual experiences. This is the kind of content we can do without.

Kyle Sandilands has since been sacked from his $1 million Idol host gig, yet we’re still awaiting Austereo’s final position. But what about his accomplices? Shouldn’t Miss Tacky O and the rest of the motley crew be held accountable..?